Vote for Kev!
Please vote for Will's Boyfriend, the cuddliest cub in the village!
Copy this ULR: http://www.manbears.co.uk/mrbearbash/ - and select Mr Cub 2006 - Vote for Kevin!
Web Page: http://www.gaydar.co.uk/superted-kev
Favourite DVD or Film: The Goonies
Favourite Food: Beef
Favourite CD: Scumfrog
Favourite TV Programme: Shameless
Favourite Bear Website: Eurowoof
Holiday Destination: The Black Hole of Calcutta
What's under my bed: The stuff that dreams are made of!
If I win Mr Bear Bash I will... keep it real on a regular basis, campaign for world peace & SAVE THE BEARS MAN!
Aftermath
5.30am, 10 or so Tequilas, Rums, JaegerBombs and Redbull inspired Polski, Chairski and Alex to go for a little dip. I'll save the girls embarrrassment and refrain from posting the indecent photos. 6am, passed out on the couch.
Opium Mashup
So after dinner we rocked onto Opium. Things got a little messy...... Here's Polske, Clairshi, Lexi, Gavinski and I looking a little worse for wear after a serious dancing session. And the dude is Kirk Hammett from Metallica.
Dinner at Capella
What should have been a really nice meal turned into a nightmare. Capella is surposedly one of the best restaurants in Cape Town and we were all very excited about eating there. It's beautifully decorated with textures and fabrics that give the space a highened sense of three dimensionality. We ate quite late, about 10.30 and some items on the menu weren't available which was a shame, nevertheless, we ordered and waited for our food. When we eventually got our meals, 45mins later, the Duck salads that Paulina and Claire ordered were wilted, over cooked and came with 'peanuts' instead of Cashews. So we decided to complain. The manager came over and offered paulina and Claire a desert or a shot to compensate. They wanted neither and asked for a cocktail, the manager then proceeded to argue with us for ten minutes and refused to agree that this was a fair compensation. He must have been coked up or something because he was being such an aragant tosser. At one point he even said to us "I feel like you're trying to take me for a ride", with which i replied " i feel as if i'm being insulted". ANyway, here's me looking decidedly pissed off with the whole incident. DON'T EVER GO THERE, YOU GET TREATED LIKE SHIT!
Sushi and Joy Riding
The four of us went for Sushi after the beach, and a little trip in a trolley.
Saturday Surf
Gavin, Claire, Paulina and I headed off to Landudno Beach on Saturday afternoon. The idea was to learn how to surf and body board. As it turned out there wasn't much swell.
Alessandra's excitement about making money out of Crap
Great! We should run with a world wide campaign. An anti-crap campaign. Design wise - simple, clean lines can't complain. Though somewhat resembles a war poster. I'm sure the Stoke Newington new age hippy/boho types would love it. They'd be at one with their inner crap. I can see all the shop assistants at Fresh Wild wearing stop the crap t-shirts...... Hmmm lucrative. Behind every good hippy is usually a good businessman. A business for a good cause.
It's just the start Als... x
Gorilla Marketing
I'm starting a marketing Campaign called "Straight Talk". Let's all cut out the crap together! Kick out the crap i say ... please disseminate these images amongst your friends and loved ones, print them off, pin them to lampposts and paste them to the windows of empty shops - we'll show them, Crap will be running for cover by the time we're finished! Honesty is the best policy, stress free, hassel free, simple!
If you've already come up with this idea or have run a similar campaign unsuccessfully, then please contact the lawyers of AP (IPR).
Remarkable Similarities
These two must have been seperated at birth, one lived with a lovely family in Wales and the other moved to the warmth of Spain. Can you guess which is which?
I wouldn't want to take this away from Tim; "the one on the right looks like he's been locked in a cupboard and
starved of sunlight for the last 3 years...."
Dear David.....
Dear Lord David Elliott of Long Stanton,
I have tried god knows how many times to contact you over the past few days.... The Glade Festival will be unreal and I really think you should consider getting your a*se in gear and buy a ticket! I spoke to Chris the other day and was really please to hear about your promotion at the bookies... good on you! Don't stay off the radar for much longer, i miss you banter and generally insane chat.
All the best
A
Apurimac Media
APURIMAC MEDIA BRIEF
CLIENT BRIEF
As a tree has a seed, a river has a source and a fire has a spark. This is the 'back to nature/basics' approach that I want to convey in my communication.
Online is computers and cities, apurimac is pure ides, simple approaches, people focused and solution driven, so that our clients are more than happy and our people are happier than our clients!
Primarily apurimac works in partnership with other UK based businesses.
COMPANY OVERVIEW
SERVICES PROVIDED
1) Online media traffic management and service
2) Advertising onto websites
3) Online media creative
4) Web development and management of own and client's online products Mobile technology products and services (developing and managing mobile products and services)
5) Online media ad sales (selling online media space on behalf of clients)
COMPANY NARRATIVE
Apurimac media is a company that deals with the trafficking of information on the Internet. Apurimac's central premise is to gain a clear and precise understanding of partner’s needs and requirements. On this basis they have created a company which simplifies an often over complicated, yet essential part of any modern business which operates client facilities over the Internet.
As a brand, apurimac seeks to communicate the idea that trafficking can be simplified through the implementation of centralized management. Will uses the apurimac and Amazon as metaphors for his company and the Internet. Everything has a source, a simple beginning, and a premise.
The premise of the Internet was to provide communication links between Governments in the event of a nuclear holocaust, a simple premise. In 2006 the Internet, amongst other things is a place to find a date, buy a car, rent an aeroplane, plan a wedding, watch the weather abroad and play games. The list is endless. When Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web he probably could never have conceived the number of uses it is now put to. The Internet is now a labrinyn of information, services, entertainment and danger. The Amazon, with thousands of Ecosystems, plant life, birds and animals represent the complexity of the Internet. However, like the Amazon there is always a source, a place where things can be simplified before you start looking at bigger pictures, a place where information is straight forward, easily understood and consequently easily managed. This is apurimac.
Human Rights Day March 21st
Today is a public Holiday in South Africa. Although not for some people??? On this day in 1960 the police killed 69 people and injured over 180 at Sharpeville. They were participating in a protest against the pass laws. Many were shot in the back. The carnage made world headlines. Four days later the government banned black political organisations, many leaders were arrested or went into exile. During the Apartheid era there were human rights abuses by all sides; Human Rights Day is but one step to ensure that the people of South Africa are aware of their human rights and to ensure that such abuses never again occur.
Mittens The House Cat
I want to introduce you all to our Cat Mittens. Chris, Lane's boyfriend moved out of his flat and 'donated' Mittens to 6 Belle Ombre. He's precocious, hyper-active but overall very loveable. Maybe one for www.stuffonmycat.com?
Freshly Ground Breakin
How to get into a Freshly Ground concert without a ticket.
1. Find a quiet spot to park the car.
2. Wave at the security guard by the fence.
3. Ask girl with you to fain injury and ask the security guard to call for backup.
4. Confuse security guard so much he walks away and out of site.
5. Find a stream, slip under the fence and enter Kirstenbosch.
6. Try not to get caught lugging cooler boxes through private gardens.
7. Sit down and have fun.
www.freshlyground.com
Muay Thai Fight Night
Night of Combat, Dragon Power, Saturday 11th March 2006
The Cape Crusader Issue 5 “Steep Stairs”
Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well? It’s been an age and a day since I last wrote a crusader, things have been busy since Christmas and I guess I’ve been a little slack about sitting down and reminiscing. Such a lot has happened it’s hard to recall most of the things I’ve been up too. Feel free to take a break at any point, this is going to be long.
I spent Christmas Eve and day with Dane and his family in Ronderbosch, I was made to feel very welcome and was even given a bottle of Havana Club and some marmite by Santa! On Christmas day we had a picnic in the Botanical Gardens at Kirstenbosch, it’s a remarkable place high up on the slopes of Table Mountain with magnificent views across the city. The night before had been quite boozy so it was great to be able to relax in the sun and enjoy the company of another family. Dane’s parents Pam and Dave are very chilled and I’ll always remember my first Christmas away from home as an enjoyable one. The rest of the festive period was spent in the company of Paulina’s Family from Poland. They were visiting South Africa for 3 weeks. Although their English was a little sketchy, (sorry non-existent, Paulina translated most of the time) we all managed to get along well, enjoy dinners together and trips out of Cape Town. Just before new years we visited a place called Langaban where we had a 10-course meal of fish and seafood, amazing. Their whole stay was characterised by the astonishing amount of wine we consumed, I think the record for one evening was 14 bottles of wine between the 5 of us, but every evening was a close contender. It seemed like we were drunk for about 10days solid over the Christmas period. On New Years eve the Poles and I went to a beach party just outside of Cape Town. At about two I decided it would be a really good idea to climb some rocks on the beach, I ended up falling off this boulder and sprained my wrist, I was in so much pain that I passed out where I fell and woke up at 7 to find the beach deserted. It was almost as if I had dreamt the whole evening. I hadn’t taken my wallet with me that evening because all the drink was included in my ticket, so I had to walk for about two hours to get back into Cape Town. The Polish left on New Years day and I was back to work the next.
The last event of the festive period was celebrating my birthday on the 5th Jan. I cooked a curry big, enough to feed the 5000 and opened my Christmas bottle of Havana. There was a good crowd of people who celebrated my 26th with me and my flatmates even bought me a cake and some small gifts. All in all my birthday was a lot of fun and enjoyed by all. The rest of January was a mixed bag, work wise, things pretty much shut down for a month over Christmas, which means an insane backlog in January. Knowing that my mum was arriving at the end of the month I decided to have a bit of a detox, which gave me the opportunity to reflect back on the events of 2005. In some respects it was an Annus Horribulous, the demise of my relationship with Sri was one of the most difficult periods of my life and made finishing University a bit of a non event. A couple of very confusing and uncomfortable months at home and the subsequent divorce of my parents were also very testing experiences. At times everything felt like it was coming away at the seams, but thankfully people who care were always there to stitch me back together again. If it wasn’t for all my friends, and you know who you are, I think I might of lost the plot. Cheers boys and girls. Rum parties didn’t hurt either. So January was the month to formulate a plan to make 2006 a f**king great year, or at the least an improvement from the last. I decided to sort out all the things that were over complicating my life, get back to basics and concentrate on living my life to the fullest in South Africa. The first thing was getting some exercise, I decided to join the gym and learn Muay Thai, I’ve been going twice weekly since the beginning of February. I’ve always hated the idea of gym, running and cycling nowhere, lifting weight and that sort of shit but Muay Thai is the bomb, yeah there’s some running and cycling but the best bit is learning the technique and skills associated with Thai Boxing, basically I’m loving it. Next and probably the hardest thing was sorting out affairs of the heart, I’m not going into details but the crux of it is that I had to make some tough choices and decisions and live with them. I have and am, and feel content with a clean slate. I know it’s going to take time for things to be at a stage where I can trust someone again, and trust myself to let go. The main point is that I’m optimistic again and open to the idea that someone will capture my heart. I’ve been enjoying my work for Woolies but since renegotiating a freelance contract I’ve begun putting more effort into finding new business and clients. Since January I’ve taken on a number of new project along side the existing ones. I’m now working in partnership with a media company called Apurimac Media who sell and design web advertising. I’ve been helping a friend set up a clothing label called Pink Ant, more on that when the website goes live, and I’ve also been helping my friend Gus with his Corporate Events company ‘Legless’. I like the balance of commitments and enjoy being able to switch focus, I think in reality I’ve always been interested in lots of things and an expert at nothing so it kind suites me. Although some days I’m in the office until close to midnight I really don’t mind because when I do eventually leave work there’s always something to do and someone to do it with.
At the end of January my mum came to Cape Town. Although her stay was short we managed to pack quite a lot in. I took a day off on the Friday and we flew to George; about 400km east of Cape Town. From George we caught an old steam train called the Outeniqua Choo Choo to Knysna. The train took us past and through some fantastic scenery, the line hugs cliffs, crosses rivers and skirts alongside vast lakes and lagoons. After lunch we took our rental car further east towards Plettenberg. There wasn’t really an agenda so when we spotted a sign saying Elephant Sanctuary we decided to stop. I’m not sure my mum was that keen at first but it didn’t take long for her to have a change of heart. We saw a baby elephant who was just 10days old and managed to touch and feed another small family of elephants. I have to say we were both a little scared at first; I’ve had a bit of a fear of large animals ever since I almost lost my fingers feeding a horse, but we enjoyed the whole experience immensely. From there we continued on past Plet to a wonderful country retreat called Hog Hollow. The setting was fantastic and we sipped coffee until the sun set. Finally we went back to our accommodation, a beautiful log cabin on the shores of Knysna lagoon, a perfect end to a perfect day. The following morning we drove slowly back to George, stopping at the Wilderness Beach, Victoria Bay and a fantastic estuary that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of. The trip was a real experience of a lifetime. If you’re reading this Mum, I love you, thanks so much for coming; it was wonderful to see you again so soon.
After my mum left things settled down to a gentle pace and to be honest I remember very little of February, it seemed to fly by. I’m sure there are a hundred and one things I did but the newness is wearing off and remembering them is difficult. I know I drank a lot of wine though. Paulina and I met this guy whose father owns a wine farm. He offered to give us cases of wine for 130R, which works out at about £1.30 a bottle. I was a little bit sceptical that it might taste like piss but actually it’s really nice, we buy a case every week now. The only other notable highlight of Feb was visiting Tamo’s farm in Franschhoek for the weekend. Paulina had some friends, Kuba and Daniel over from London, so we all decided to get out of CT and head to the countryside. It was a stiflingly hot day. We all sat together on a shaded lawn drinking Champagne and eating cheese. Tamo taught me how to open a bottle of Champagne with a Sabre, so cool, a party trick I’m definitely bringing home with me, only thing is I have to buy a sabre? I know what I’m asking for Christmas next year. Later in the evening we had a bit of a smoke, cooked dinner and had a relatively early night. There’s such a different vibe when you head out of the city, things take on a much slower pace and you find yourself relaxing into a horizontal position really easily.
Ok things are coming back to me now. The following weekend was Kuba and Daniel’s last so the plan was to make it big. We also had a girl called Claire staying with us, she’s originally from the UK but she’s lived all over the world. Claire’s a bit of a crazy girl, who doesn’t blink twice at the prospect of getting completely f*cked up on the weekend. Ali take note, you’re not alone. So, we headed to a club called Opium to hear this progressive house and broken beats DJ called Dean Fuel. Banging! The bars in the club were getting really busy so Claire and I headed for the VIP lounge only to be denied entry despite having the right stamp etc… Why you ask, well it wasn’t because I was being lairy or anything, in actual fact Leonardo DiCaprio was drinking in there. Anyway, so Claire then chipped in with this bullshit story that she’s Opium’s publicist, if you thought bouncers were dumb in the UK, over here they’re complete planks, he looks over his should Claire signals to the barman and we walk in, ridiculous. Before any of you begin wondering, no I didn’t speak to Leonardo, it was a little sad because he virtually sat there in silence with his minder? You’ve got to think to yourself what’s the point of going out to a nightclub if you’re not going to at least ‘act’ as if you’re having fun. On this basis I’ve decided he’s a rubbish actor. Anyway, I sweated through all my clothes dancing and eventually after a trillion rums I was knackered, we went home, danced in the kitchen, had a smoke and passed out at 7. There’s a lot of dancing in the kitchen, in fact the image on the top is my housemate Lane doing full Lotus walking to the Freestylers, crazy hey.
Ok, I’ve done well; I’m almost up to date. If any of you are still reading I’ll be amazed. I’m already on my third coffee. The Friday before last I was given a complementary ticket to the One Day International between SA and Aus at Newlands Cricket ground, we had lunch at the Oval Cricket Club before descending upon Newlands. The game was a thriller, SA ended up thumping the Aussies, bowling them out for 95! The third lowest score ever by an Australian team in a one-day. Obviously there was plenty to celebrate; no one likes to see the Aussies win. After the game and a quick run onto the pitch we went back to the cricket club for a Braii and more drinks. Now I’m only left with telling you about the hectic weekend I’ve just had which all kicked off on Thursday night. Paulina, Claire and decided to go out for dinner to Simple Thai (Dan and Lou, this is where you met Kat and Claire for the first time). During the meal I got a call from my other housemate Kat, she was drinking cocktails in a small bar up the road call Asuka. A cocktail after dinner never hurts so we rocked along for a few drinks. There was no intention to take the night any further until Claire pitched in with the idea of burning off our dinner with a quick boogie down at Opium. Thursday’s are progressive trance nights, quite heavy. We stayed for a few hrs, got sweaty and went home. We then proceeded to plough through a couple of bottles of wine and didn’t get to bed until about 3.
I was feeling shattered at work the next day, a run at lunch sorted me out a bit. I knew the party that evening was going to be intense so I chilled out at home until about 9ish. Paulina works for a film production company called Pisteleros, they’d finished a project that week so there was the obligatory post-shoot party. Paulina’s boss Roy had asked of I would provide music until the DJ rocked up at 11 so I took my Mac and tunes and played out for a few hours until Tony arrived. What happened next is all a bit of a blur, all the drinks were free so I was necking rum at a furious pace until the party petered out at about 1. We all decided to go and have some more drinks and desert in Roxies in nearby Dunkley Square. Roxies is a small bar come restaurant that serves the most amazing sticky toffee pudding, and that evening it had my name all over it. Anyway, there was the girl called Lexi with us, she’d been flirting with me most of the evening and I was getting a bit freaked out so I went to the toilet up this flight of insanely steep stairs. At the top was Lee Don, he’s this old guy from the states who’s making a movie with Pisteleros. We chatted for a while but my head was swooning a little so I cut the conversation short and went to the toilet. With a deep intake of breath I sat down and considered the notion of called it a night fairly soon, I was tired from the previous night and that evening was winding down to its natural conclusion. I had a bit of a headf**k in the toilet because there was this manikin sitting in front of me, I thought it was alive and actually had to tap it on the head to make sure it was hollow. I’m waffling so much, how can I write an entire paragraph about going to the toilet?? So anyway, I left the toilet only to find Lexi standing right in front of me, she’s quite a head strong girl and despite being completely pissed started to move closer towards me, I shat myself and scuttled away and headed for the stairs. Next thing I knew I was on my a*se at the bottom of them having slipped at the top and fallen all the way down. My elbow was bleeding profusely and I had to ask the waitress for some TCP and cotton wool. My fall had made so much noise that everyone in the restaurant was looking at me. As you can imagine this was a tad bit embarrassing. I’d bruised my hip quite badly and had cuts all over my elbows, arms and waist. Heavy. Not only had I fucked myself up I’d also made a complete tit out of myself in front of Lexi and Lee Don. That was quite enough for one evening, or so I thought. When I arrived back at my table I found Paulina organizing a group of people, including Lexi, to come back to our house for a nightcap. At least I got a lift home I guess. Had a few Jacks with water and passed out.
I felt rough as old boots on Saturday morning and couldn’t sit on my left a*se cheek. The house looked like a war zone so Lane and I decided to make a quick exit to get some breakfast. We bumped into a few familiar faces on Long St and made camp at a small café. A few ice coffee later and things were returning to normality. That evening Paulina and I went to Quentin Chong’s Muay Thai Night of Combat. The event was in memory of Mr. Miagi, in the interval there was a 10min montage of Karate Kid, wicked. I never knew how hardcore these people were, I mean, if someone kneed me in the face I’m not sure I’d get up again. This guy Vernon must of received about 20 and he was still fighting away. Quentin trains all the models from the agencies in Cape Town which meant that the event was as much about kicking heads in as it was parading around in the latest fashions. For a moment I actually thought I was in a Thai themed catwalk show. Anyway, we left there, hooked up with Lane and went off to this house party. You had to wear a hat to the party so no brownie points for guessing which one I wore. People always compliment me on the balaclava?? It’s not like I look like a complete twat in it. So then I ask them if they want to wear it, then I take a photo, it’s amazing how simple it is to have a balaclava moment. Slightly off the point, have you heard about HNT (Half Naked Thursday), the idea is to take a photo of yourself/friend revealing some flesh, anything from a toe to a tit, google it if you don’t believe me? The more the merrier. Oh and while you’re at it google March 20th, the alternative Valentines Day.
We left the house party a few hours later and decided to head to the Muay Thai after party at Deluxe, which is where things got messy. The great thing about goiong out with Lane and Paulina is that they can get drinks of men so easily. It’s the only time o actually don’t mind being the third wheel. There were shots, rums, whiskeys and anything else they could squeeze out of guys. I was absolutely bladdered and crawled home with L&P at about 6am. We always seem to end up in the kitchen, where this time P&L decided to try and beat me up. Amusing for a while, I actually ended up getting punched in the face at the end, which definitely signaled bedtime.
On the Sunday we went to Claire’s housewarming in Seapoint. She’s moved into this really cool flat, not dissimilar to Robbie and Tim’s in Bow. Anyway, I played some music had a few glasses of wine and called it a night, the end to yet another massive weekend. I was quite surprised to find myself feeling relatively well adjusted on Monday morning. I detoxed until Wednesday. It was Lexi’s birthday so we all went out for a meal. She’s got a few quid in her pocket and wasn’t shy about bringing out the champagne. That night I was also celebrating some fantastic news on the work front. Barrie and Angie, who run Teamtalk were called away suddenly to train in Cyprus. They’d asked me if I would look after the current projects and manage the office until their return in April. Teamtalk currently has 28 employees, they’ve just moved into new offices and it’s my responsibility to make sure that they’re fully fitted for occupation at the end of the month. It’s quite an undertaking but I’m really excited about it all. I’ve been given a car for 4 weeks, petrol allowance and other fringe benefits, which is great.
It’s Monday now and I’ve been running the office for the past 3 days. Despite a fairly heavy weekend I managed to get into work on Saturday and Sunday at a reasonable hour to make sure everything was shipshape and Bristol fashion for the next few weeks. I’m probably going to be off the radar for the next month, which should be long enough for you read this.
Take it easy everyone and I’ll catch up with you all soon.
Peace and Love
Alex
Ok, this is definately a site for everyone. In one sitting i clocked up about 25 words. See how many you can find in amongst your photos. On the other hand, i might be the only sad tw*ts who takes pictures of words, hmmm.....
www.thevisualdictionary.net
